i wrote this about a week ago, but never published it:
so, i was recently told by a friend, that a couple of days ago when she was with a different group of friends they started talking about intervarsity and the fact that they are bad people. she asked why they were saying that and they just continued to say that they are bad and to watch out for them.
this makes me sad to hear this. questions arise in my head; are we letting the light shine through us? is it truly us that they hate or do they think they "have a bone to pick with God"? are they a few of the many that dont believe and have a relationship with God because of the mistakes we do? and some of these people in this group even claim to be christians and claim to follow the Lord. some of them have even come to our events including small group. why do they feel as though they need to be fake and put on a different mask around us? we are being real around them and we want the same visa versa.
i know that we as christians are going to be persecuted and bashed for what we believe. i cant imagine how much this pains Jesus to watch and hear this.
1 Peter 4:8-19
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
Friday, September 17, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Quench my thirst, please.
So a friend brought up the questions, who is the church? Where are they?
These questions brought me to the past and present frustrations that come with thinking about church.
Some people go to church as a ritual, thats all. They go and put on their sunday best for an hour or so and then go home, back to their regular living. Most likely the people who fit into this category would, in a definition of the word church, describe church as the building or meeting area where people gather to read the Bible and do good things. This is sad.
Church should not be and is not just a building. It is the body of Christ.
Growing up in an Evangelical Lutheran church, I had the mindset that church was just the building, thats why we say "we are going to church", right? We would stand up, sit down, open the hymnals to sing songs, and as I sat board, I noticed the multitude of people sleeping through out the room. We would then get up when the service was done and leave right away.
When I came to college, I went to a Baptist church for a few months, and the same thing happened. Go, sit, stand, sing, listen, leave. I then switched to a Christian Missionary Alliance church, and it was a little better, wasnt as boring. I enjoyed the songs a lot more and I was actually learning something for once, but there was something missing still. And there still is. Community
In the dictionary the definition of community is:
~ a unified body of individuals
~ an interacting population of various kinds of individuals in a common location
The words that stick out to me in these definitions are unified body, and interacting population. We were made to be with others. We were made to be in community with one another. And going by the definitions of the dictionary, I honestly do not see and have not seen community within the church. Some people do have that community from the church body, and thats great! But what about those who come for the first time? Are they getting to feel and experience that community as well? I have been going to this church for about a year and a half now and I still dont really feel apart of the community. Yes, I know people that go to that church, but that is mostly because I know them from InterVarsity.
And if someone who has been going to the same church for a year and a half still has the feelings of being new and out of the loop, how much more will those who come for the first time, or those who are not followers of Christ, feel unwelcome and afraid?
I see more of what the community of the church is supposed to be like, not in the church itself, but through the community of those involved with InterVarsity. My family is there, with them.
I am guilty of not introducing myself to those I dont know at church, but that is going to change from this point on!
I find myself looking for satisfaction in those communities, whether that be in a church building or from a small group of friends. Things seem to go great! There isnt any conflict, people interact with one another, we get to know each other on a deeper level, but then something happens. Someone forgets about a lunch date, someone talks behind your back, or just plainly disappoints you in some way. And that is when I am painfully reminded that even though friends and family are great and we need them, they will not entirely satisfy my desire or quench that thirst.
That makes me think of how much more we need to cling to the Only One who can quench our thirst. We were made for community, but even over that we were made to worship and love God.
Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ' Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two things."
These questions brought me to the past and present frustrations that come with thinking about church.
Some people go to church as a ritual, thats all. They go and put on their sunday best for an hour or so and then go home, back to their regular living. Most likely the people who fit into this category would, in a definition of the word church, describe church as the building or meeting area where people gather to read the Bible and do good things. This is sad.
Church should not be and is not just a building. It is the body of Christ.
Growing up in an Evangelical Lutheran church, I had the mindset that church was just the building, thats why we say "we are going to church", right? We would stand up, sit down, open the hymnals to sing songs, and as I sat board, I noticed the multitude of people sleeping through out the room. We would then get up when the service was done and leave right away.
When I came to college, I went to a Baptist church for a few months, and the same thing happened. Go, sit, stand, sing, listen, leave. I then switched to a Christian Missionary Alliance church, and it was a little better, wasnt as boring. I enjoyed the songs a lot more and I was actually learning something for once, but there was something missing still. And there still is. Community
In the dictionary the definition of community is:
~ a unified body of individuals
~ an interacting population of various kinds of individuals in a common location
The words that stick out to me in these definitions are unified body, and interacting population. We were made to be with others. We were made to be in community with one another. And going by the definitions of the dictionary, I honestly do not see and have not seen community within the church. Some people do have that community from the church body, and thats great! But what about those who come for the first time? Are they getting to feel and experience that community as well? I have been going to this church for about a year and a half now and I still dont really feel apart of the community. Yes, I know people that go to that church, but that is mostly because I know them from InterVarsity.
And if someone who has been going to the same church for a year and a half still has the feelings of being new and out of the loop, how much more will those who come for the first time, or those who are not followers of Christ, feel unwelcome and afraid?
I see more of what the community of the church is supposed to be like, not in the church itself, but through the community of those involved with InterVarsity. My family is there, with them.
I am guilty of not introducing myself to those I dont know at church, but that is going to change from this point on!
I find myself looking for satisfaction in those communities, whether that be in a church building or from a small group of friends. Things seem to go great! There isnt any conflict, people interact with one another, we get to know each other on a deeper level, but then something happens. Someone forgets about a lunch date, someone talks behind your back, or just plainly disappoints you in some way. And that is when I am painfully reminded that even though friends and family are great and we need them, they will not entirely satisfy my desire or quench that thirst.
That makes me think of how much more we need to cling to the Only One who can quench our thirst. We were made for community, but even over that we were made to worship and love God.
Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ' Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two things."
Monday, September 6, 2010
The Page Has Been Turned
so, i havent written anything on here for a really long time. so i think its time for a very general update. :)
i will start with my summer. and my summer starts out with pursuit. i was really excited to go, honestly because of all of the hype about how much fun it is to hang out with your friends for the last time before the summer starts. i knew going to pursuit, God was going to show me something, it was just whether or not i was going to see it staring me in the face. i also learned from urbana and previous retreats to not come with a check list of what i wanted God to show me or do to me or for me. and in not having a check list for God, it seemed to take weight off my own shoulders. God is so much bigger than what i want him to do, bigger than the plans i have for myself, and is more loving than i can comprehend, and i am without words on how thankful i am that He is all of that and more!
more on pursuit... the night i remember the most, and will never forget, was Wednesday night. all of the students and staff from bemidji let their walls fall to the ground and confessed to each other and shared what was on their hearts. after each person shared what was on their heart the rest prayed over and laid hands on that person. there was not a single person that didnt share. it blew me away how just after sharing those things, the presence in the room was already lighter. this night and week overall was huge! God continued to show me how important community is and in that how God can use the people in that community to help in the healing process of whatever it maybe.
this summer i ended up staying at home and working around the house to help get it ready for open house(which will make me really sad to say goodbye to the house i grew up in). before the school year ended last year i was wanting to be in bemidji or working at a camp, pretty much anywhere but my home town. my reasoning was pretty good, or so i thought. in the end God knew what was best for me...again, and i ended up learning an insane amount of things over the span of this summer.(which still blows my mind right now) the biggest thing i learned was right after i got back from pursuit, a continuation of bringing the sin in my life into the light. i knew that i didnt want to go home because i didnt want to be tempted, but running away from it wasnt doing me any good. God helped me through the struggle and He has healed me a ton, and is continuing to do so! the verse i would claim to describe my summer would be James 5:16. (and the song healing begins by tenth avenue north) about a month ago i wrote down general bullet points of some of the things i learned this summer:
i will start with my summer. and my summer starts out with pursuit. i was really excited to go, honestly because of all of the hype about how much fun it is to hang out with your friends for the last time before the summer starts. i knew going to pursuit, God was going to show me something, it was just whether or not i was going to see it staring me in the face. i also learned from urbana and previous retreats to not come with a check list of what i wanted God to show me or do to me or for me. and in not having a check list for God, it seemed to take weight off my own shoulders. God is so much bigger than what i want him to do, bigger than the plans i have for myself, and is more loving than i can comprehend, and i am without words on how thankful i am that He is all of that and more!
more on pursuit... the night i remember the most, and will never forget, was Wednesday night. all of the students and staff from bemidji let their walls fall to the ground and confessed to each other and shared what was on their hearts. after each person shared what was on their heart the rest prayed over and laid hands on that person. there was not a single person that didnt share. it blew me away how just after sharing those things, the presence in the room was already lighter. this night and week overall was huge! God continued to show me how important community is and in that how God can use the people in that community to help in the healing process of whatever it maybe.
this summer i ended up staying at home and working around the house to help get it ready for open house(which will make me really sad to say goodbye to the house i grew up in). before the school year ended last year i was wanting to be in bemidji or working at a camp, pretty much anywhere but my home town. my reasoning was pretty good, or so i thought. in the end God knew what was best for me...again, and i ended up learning an insane amount of things over the span of this summer.(which still blows my mind right now) the biggest thing i learned was right after i got back from pursuit, a continuation of bringing the sin in my life into the light. i knew that i didnt want to go home because i didnt want to be tempted, but running away from it wasnt doing me any good. God helped me through the struggle and He has healed me a ton, and is continuing to do so! the verse i would claim to describe my summer would be James 5:16. (and the song healing begins by tenth avenue north) about a month ago i wrote down general bullet points of some of the things i learned this summer:
~importance of community
(satan hates this and does what he can to break us apart)
~what being pure means/ how important that is
~sharing your faith really does grow you
~how much we are creatures of habit
~im prideful(mindset of there's nothing wrong)
1 Corinthians 10:12
~im selfish
~i have a lot more idols than i realize
~its hard to die to our flesh and it's wantings, BUT its totally worth it!
~the importance of bringing darkness into light, how powerful God works in that
~our minds can easily be brought to good or bad(only takes 2-3 seconds)
~there is nothing to big or hard for God to work on.
~i can't fix people(im not the handyman, im the tool)
~The Word is NOT safe (the old testament is more real than i thought)
Genesis 38:9
~growing in how much God loves us, how much he trusts us!
~reading more of the Word makes me more aware of how evil
the things of this world are, how much i sin.
~the aroma of Christ (what aroma am i?)
~your strengths are what satan attacks
~im not patient
~i take advantage of my mom. sorry mom.
~how blessed we are to have freedom to share the Gospel
~im boastful for the wrong things. very.
~God has a reason for why he does things.
(being home for the summer having no official job)
~Romans 7:15-25
~i am a wretched man
~what does it look like to be set apart from others?
what boundaries come with that?
another thing that happened this summer was finding a new church. i knew i needed to find a good solid community since i didnt have one and God totally helped with that! :) i am so greatful for attending parkside church this summer. i met a multitude of great people who are in love with Jesus, and want the same for others. i hung out with the high schoolers and middle schoolers at the youth group they had, and i was a little hesitant on this idea at first, but God used that too! I was so deeply encouraged by the amount of passion and love coming from people at such a young age! The original fear i had going to this new church was definitely stomped out with in a few days.
towards the end of the summer, i was really ready to come back to bemidji for many reasons. one, seeing my friends, two, getting back to the community i love here in bemidji, and three(probably the top one), was meeting the new transfer and freshmen students! the move in day was a blast, along with the rest of the events that happened during NSO(new student outreach) i really enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them! There are sooo many stories so far about how we have seen God at work on campus, and its only the 3rd week of school! God is good and I'm really excited to see my new friends and old friends grow this year in ways they couldn't imagine right now!
one last thing. i have honestly been really frustrated and confused with the actions of some people, but a sweet picture/scenario was shared and has really helped me to press forward with who we have as leaders now and are on board, and who will be future leaders and have already started to join with us. God has turned the page of this book. We are now in a new chapter of this book, with different characters, different journeys, and so on. We are to continue reading this book, and press on.
oh and i should mention that i very much enjoy seeing the freshmen bloom right before my eyes! (guess that last paragraph really wasnt the last one. lol.) God has been blowing my mind in the transformation that He has already begun in them. story time...on move in day, brittany and i went together towards another car to hopefully help in the unpacking process of the chaotic day. we came to a car with an older woman standing next to it. we walk up to her and ask her if we could help and she started telling us how her grand-daughter had already taken a load up to her room. she also told us how all of her stuff got wet and so we couldn't really help with the hauling any more. before we left we were able to meet her grand-daughter. she was quiet and said maybe three sentences throughout our conversation. a couple days later a friend and i were going to eat and she told me that a couple of freshmen were going to join us. guess who one of the freshmen was. :) with just a few weeks she is now telling me stories of meeting new people, yelling up to the 4th floor windows in search of a guy we had met the night before, laughing, and so much more. ive already seen God move through her and im excited to see the continuing transformation in her life as the year goes by. God has most definitely been encouraging me through all of the new relationships that have formed!
Jesus lead on!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Waiting for the gigantic flashing sign
So before Urbana I was all hyped up and excited to see how God would change me drastically, how it was to worship with thousands of people from multiple different countries, and for the things the speakers would say. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When I arrived I was super excited to be in St. Louis, thinking to myself...a couple months has passed by very rapidly and Urbana was finally here! I was excited to take pictures and hangout with my friends, to worship God and to hopefully figure out where He wanted me to go.
Actually, I'm not going to lie, in a way I was pretty much telling God that Urbana was where he was going to show me where to go. This was probably the first distraction that I had created for myself. Waiting for the gigantic flashing sign saying: "You will be going here in your future" "This way" I hadn't figured out this stupidity of mine until the fourth day out of five. The first night session was good...actually truthfully the only part that pops into my head from that night is the opening dance and then worship. I could tell that something was a tad off, but I didn't know what. I tried blowing it off, thinking it was just me being tired and the next 4 days would be different. That night I had started praying the first of many prayers to get rid of this distraction, tiredness, or whatever it was. The next 3 days continued to be the same. It felt as if I was numb to everything that I was listening to. I was getting quiet frustrated that I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of this huge conference, so I continued to pray. On the third day (wed) we had free time. ( I didn't realize that we would be so busy every other day than this one.) I had plans to go to the arch, take some pictures of the city and random people. But after the morning session I had this urge not to go and do those things I had wanted to do. Instead I had gone to the global connexions(where all of the missionary booths were). When I started my plan was to go through every isle and get as much info as I could. Soon realized that wasn't going to be happening, so I picked out a specific area to go there and headed that way. On my way though a different booth caught my eye. The Red Zone. I ended up staying there for about 45 min. (This ended up being the only booth that actually has something I could do with them, photographer, videographer, etc.) At this point I was still waiting (impatiently I might add) for God to give me that flashing sign. When the 4th day came rolling around I was still feeling slightly numb, or whatever it was. But I did finally feel the little slap in the face, and finally realized that I may not figure out what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. That it is up to God when I find that out and I will find out when He wants me to and that might not be at Urbana. I did get to spend a little more time trying to process the things from the previous days, but every time I attempted, all I could think about was sleep. I was slightly feeling saddened that I didn't really feel pulled in any certain direction.
But on 5th day(new year's eve) The theme was geared more towards reaching campus. I had no longer felt that "numbness" I was quite excited and throughout the talks I was getting chills and butterflies in my stomach. I still don't really know if that was God's way of telling me that is where he wants me, or if it was just because that is where I am now, in school. That entire day was filled with chills beyond belief but now with this new feeling, I all of the sudden had something else to process.
Now being home, I am still processing all that had happened in St. Louis and I'm assuming will be for awhile. I am starting to see that I may not have gotten much from the speakers(as of right now) but have learned many things from the tiny experiences that had happened during this conference. I have found myself to be excited to read the books that I had bought and that had been given to me and to continue processing what God has showed me. I was wait for that ah ha moment at Urbana, and that didn't really happen. And I am fine with that now. God will show me in His own time, and in the mean time I will wait patiently as to the best of my ability. And kind of forgot about the "high" that usually follows retreats or anything of the sort, because that didn't happen this time. But I'm sure God has a reason for that. I am excited to see what God has in store for me and the multitude of people around me!
Actually, I'm not going to lie, in a way I was pretty much telling God that Urbana was where he was going to show me where to go. This was probably the first distraction that I had created for myself. Waiting for the gigantic flashing sign saying: "You will be going here in your future" "This way" I hadn't figured out this stupidity of mine until the fourth day out of five. The first night session was good...actually truthfully the only part that pops into my head from that night is the opening dance and then worship. I could tell that something was a tad off, but I didn't know what. I tried blowing it off, thinking it was just me being tired and the next 4 days would be different. That night I had started praying the first of many prayers to get rid of this distraction, tiredness, or whatever it was. The next 3 days continued to be the same. It felt as if I was numb to everything that I was listening to. I was getting quiet frustrated that I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of this huge conference, so I continued to pray. On the third day (wed) we had free time. ( I didn't realize that we would be so busy every other day than this one.) I had plans to go to the arch, take some pictures of the city and random people. But after the morning session I had this urge not to go and do those things I had wanted to do. Instead I had gone to the global connexions(where all of the missionary booths were). When I started my plan was to go through every isle and get as much info as I could. Soon realized that wasn't going to be happening, so I picked out a specific area to go there and headed that way. On my way though a different booth caught my eye. The Red Zone. I ended up staying there for about 45 min. (This ended up being the only booth that actually has something I could do with them, photographer, videographer, etc.) At this point I was still waiting (impatiently I might add) for God to give me that flashing sign. When the 4th day came rolling around I was still feeling slightly numb, or whatever it was. But I did finally feel the little slap in the face, and finally realized that I may not figure out what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. That it is up to God when I find that out and I will find out when He wants me to and that might not be at Urbana. I did get to spend a little more time trying to process the things from the previous days, but every time I attempted, all I could think about was sleep. I was slightly feeling saddened that I didn't really feel pulled in any certain direction.
But on 5th day(new year's eve) The theme was geared more towards reaching campus. I had no longer felt that "numbness" I was quite excited and throughout the talks I was getting chills and butterflies in my stomach. I still don't really know if that was God's way of telling me that is where he wants me, or if it was just because that is where I am now, in school. That entire day was filled with chills beyond belief but now with this new feeling, I all of the sudden had something else to process.
Now being home, I am still processing all that had happened in St. Louis and I'm assuming will be for awhile. I am starting to see that I may not have gotten much from the speakers(as of right now) but have learned many things from the tiny experiences that had happened during this conference. I have found myself to be excited to read the books that I had bought and that had been given to me and to continue processing what God has showed me. I was wait for that ah ha moment at Urbana, and that didn't really happen. And I am fine with that now. God will show me in His own time, and in the mean time I will wait patiently as to the best of my ability. And kind of forgot about the "high" that usually follows retreats or anything of the sort, because that didn't happen this time. But I'm sure God has a reason for that. I am excited to see what God has in store for me and the multitude of people around me!
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