i will start with my summer. and my summer starts out with pursuit. i was really excited to go, honestly because of all of the hype about how much fun it is to hang out with your friends for the last time before the summer starts. i knew going to pursuit, God was going to show me something, it was just whether or not i was going to see it staring me in the face. i also learned from urbana and previous retreats to not come with a check list of what i wanted God to show me or do to me or for me. and in not having a check list for God, it seemed to take weight off my own shoulders. God is so much bigger than what i want him to do, bigger than the plans i have for myself, and is more loving than i can comprehend, and i am without words on how thankful i am that He is all of that and more!
more on pursuit... the night i remember the most, and will never forget, was Wednesday night. all of the students and staff from bemidji let their walls fall to the ground and confessed to each other and shared what was on their hearts. after each person shared what was on their heart the rest prayed over and laid hands on that person. there was not a single person that didnt share. it blew me away how just after sharing those things, the presence in the room was already lighter. this night and week overall was huge! God continued to show me how important community is and in that how God can use the people in that community to help in the healing process of whatever it maybe.
this summer i ended up staying at home and working around the house to help get it ready for open house(which will make me really sad to say goodbye to the house i grew up in). before the school year ended last year i was wanting to be in bemidji or working at a camp, pretty much anywhere but my home town. my reasoning was pretty good, or so i thought. in the end God knew what was best for me...again, and i ended up learning an insane amount of things over the span of this summer.(which still blows my mind right now) the biggest thing i learned was right after i got back from pursuit, a continuation of bringing the sin in my life into the light. i knew that i didnt want to go home because i didnt want to be tempted, but running away from it wasnt doing me any good. God helped me through the struggle and He has healed me a ton, and is continuing to do so! the verse i would claim to describe my summer would be James 5:16. (and the song healing begins by tenth avenue north) about a month ago i wrote down general bullet points of some of the things i learned this summer:
~importance of community
(satan hates this and does what he can to break us apart)
~what being pure means/ how important that is
~sharing your faith really does grow you
~how much we are creatures of habit
~im prideful(mindset of there's nothing wrong)
1 Corinthians 10:12
~im selfish
~i have a lot more idols than i realize
~its hard to die to our flesh and it's wantings, BUT its totally worth it!
~the importance of bringing darkness into light, how powerful God works in that
~our minds can easily be brought to good or bad(only takes 2-3 seconds)
~there is nothing to big or hard for God to work on.
~i can't fix people(im not the handyman, im the tool)
~The Word is NOT safe (the old testament is more real than i thought)
Genesis 38:9
~growing in how much God loves us, how much he trusts us!
~reading more of the Word makes me more aware of how evil
the things of this world are, how much i sin.
~the aroma of Christ (what aroma am i?)
~your strengths are what satan attacks
~im not patient
~i take advantage of my mom. sorry mom.
~how blessed we are to have freedom to share the Gospel
~im boastful for the wrong things. very.
~God has a reason for why he does things.
(being home for the summer having no official job)
~Romans 7:15-25
~i am a wretched man
~what does it look like to be set apart from others?
what boundaries come with that?
another thing that happened this summer was finding a new church. i knew i needed to find a good solid community since i didnt have one and God totally helped with that! :) i am so greatful for attending parkside church this summer. i met a multitude of great people who are in love with Jesus, and want the same for others. i hung out with the high schoolers and middle schoolers at the youth group they had, and i was a little hesitant on this idea at first, but God used that too! I was so deeply encouraged by the amount of passion and love coming from people at such a young age! The original fear i had going to this new church was definitely stomped out with in a few days.
towards the end of the summer, i was really ready to come back to bemidji for many reasons. one, seeing my friends, two, getting back to the community i love here in bemidji, and three(probably the top one), was meeting the new transfer and freshmen students! the move in day was a blast, along with the rest of the events that happened during NSO(new student outreach) i really enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them! There are sooo many stories so far about how we have seen God at work on campus, and its only the 3rd week of school! God is good and I'm really excited to see my new friends and old friends grow this year in ways they couldn't imagine right now!
one last thing. i have honestly been really frustrated and confused with the actions of some people, but a sweet picture/scenario was shared and has really helped me to press forward with who we have as leaders now and are on board, and who will be future leaders and have already started to join with us. God has turned the page of this book. We are now in a new chapter of this book, with different characters, different journeys, and so on. We are to continue reading this book, and press on.
oh and i should mention that i very much enjoy seeing the freshmen bloom right before my eyes! (guess that last paragraph really wasnt the last one. lol.) God has been blowing my mind in the transformation that He has already begun in them. story time...on move in day, brittany and i went together towards another car to hopefully help in the unpacking process of the chaotic day. we came to a car with an older woman standing next to it. we walk up to her and ask her if we could help and she started telling us how her grand-daughter had already taken a load up to her room. she also told us how all of her stuff got wet and so we couldn't really help with the hauling any more. before we left we were able to meet her grand-daughter. she was quiet and said maybe three sentences throughout our conversation. a couple days later a friend and i were going to eat and she told me that a couple of freshmen were going to join us. guess who one of the freshmen was. :) with just a few weeks she is now telling me stories of meeting new people, yelling up to the 4th floor windows in search of a guy we had met the night before, laughing, and so much more. ive already seen God move through her and im excited to see the continuing transformation in her life as the year goes by. God has most definitely been encouraging me through all of the new relationships that have formed!
Jesus lead on!
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